My Final Challenge

Hello folks!

So I started this year of challenges in June and it is now May - so we know what that means! This challenge is my final challenge of the year. So let's make it a goodun. Technically I should have started this on friday - but the last few days have been a bit hectic and I wanted to get off to a good start, so I am starting tomorrow instead!

These are the challenges I have completed (or at least attempted) thus far:

Juggle every day
Give up refined sugar
Exercise every day
Write something creative every day
Meditate every day
Cut down on TV and Facebook every day

Write a 50,000 word novel in thirty days

Give up on gossiping, bitching, moaning and criticizing for thirty day.

Practice violin every day.

Spend only eighty pounds in thirty days

Read every day

Take a photos and keep a diary every day

(Technically that's my One Year Twelve Challenges done, as I did two the first month! But hey, let's stick one last one in there anyway.)

Looking back on everything I've done this year I feel a bit like this:

And now just one more to go! I really want to end the year with something special - go out with a bang.

A lot of these challenges were about creating habits. Some of which have stuck with me (now in my fifth month of not eating sugar!!) and some of which haven't (that pesky violin practice went as quickly as it came). I've learned a lot about myself and what kind of person I want to be through these challenges, and I want to make this last month a sort of mega-challenge. I want to combine some of my favorite challenges together, and try and start creating a routine that includes them all.

So here are the things I really want to include in this challenge:

Exercise
Meditation
Poetry writing
Violin practice
Juggling practice
Reading
Keeping a journal

(I would include not eating sugar in that list, but I've managed to keep that up anyway, so I wouldn't consider it a challenge any more.)

So these are all things that I really want to make a regular part of my lifestyle. If I've learned anything this year it is that I am at my happiest when I am being productive, and so I want to start pushing myself in all these areas. The tricky part has been trying to figure out how to fit it all in!

This challenge happens to be falling in my very last month of Drama School! What a perfect month to end my challenges on, just before I step out into the big wide world. I am hardly in for lectures any more, but I do have a pretty hefty project to be getting on with - my business plan. So even when I am not in for uni, I am pretty much considering my time from 9 - 5 my 'office hours' - where I dedicate my time to business plan, applying for jobs, and projects. So I need to find time for all of this challenge stuff in my mornings and evenings. Here is what I have in mind...

Exercise and Meditation

I know that I am at my best both physically and mentally when I make time for both of these things every day. Since both of these challenges I have kept them both up to a certain extent - but I want to go back to doing them both daily. Time wise, I think it would be reasonable to fit in half an hour of strength training and stretching, and half an hour of meditation every morning. I'd also like to fit in cardio a couple of times a week, perhaps when I can afford to start 'office hours' a little later in the day. Right now I'm avoiding running because I have very sore knees, but there's always zumba!

Poetry Writing, Violin Practice, Juggling and Reading

So essentially, these are my hobbies and skills. If I want to improve in my violin and juggling I need to practice regularly! And if I want to progress with my writing I need to push myself to write and read as often as possible. But what to do? I can't do them all every day. So I've decided to alternate between violin and juggling each night. It'll be the first thing I do when I get home from uni, practice for half an hour. As for writing and reading... well, I always have a book in my bag for whenever I'm in the bus or just have ten minutes to myself. That seems to work pretty well, it's aided me in reading a few more books since my reading challenge in march finished! I also take my poetry book everywhere, but that doesn't necessarily mean I write in it that often. So to aid me in writing a bit more, I just want to spend a few minutes each day, whether on my lunch break or maybe just before going to bed, jotting some ideas down. Then, over the weekend I must turn one of my ideas into a fully formed poem. A poem a week sounds reasonable I think!

Keeping a Journal

I wanted to include this because I want to use it to keep myself going. This is potentially my hardest challenge yet. It's going to be tricky to keep track of everything and keep motivated! But I think if I organise my thoughts every evening, even if its as simple as writing down my tasks for the next day, I think it could be a real help to me.

Some other thoughts...

I'll sort of be going back to my challenge of avoiding TV so that I can fit all this in. I'm definitely cool with that! As I whole I definitely watch less TV now than I did before, and I really don't miss it! That being said, you should always make time for some good films and documentaries, so I'm gonna give myself Friday and Saturday evenings for some good viewing time. I think by restricting myself I will choose what I watch a bit more wisely! And of course, bringing in some more challenges, I would like to continue to monitor my bitching and moaning, and to limit my spending. But I don't think I'm going to set any solid rules on that - just try and keep it in mind every day.

So there we have it! Those are my rules and guidelines for my Ultra-Super-Duper-Awesome-Mega-Challenge (the official title). It's a big one. I'm essentially trying to throw myself into being the busiest and most productive (and therefore, I think, best and happiest) version of myself. I'm trying to see if I could maintain all these habits properly, and build a lifestyle wildly different to the one I started with this time last year. It's a bit scary to be honest, but in a good way!

Now I'm under no illusion that I will manage to keep this up every day. If a trip to the cinema or a dinner with friends stops me from getting everything done, then so be it. This challenge is not about ticking every day off, it's about carving a realistic lifestyle for myself, and that includes random changes of plan! That's why this is probably going to be the hardest challenge for me to keep track of, but I have faith that if I really commit myself I'll do it. Most of all, I just hope that this challenge turns out as well as I want it to, and gives me that 'I'm so happy to be moving forward' buzz I've had from so many of my other challenges. There's a lot riding on this one! I'm excited.

Here is hoping for a fantastic month to end a truly fantastic year.

30 days left....

Why I Will Never Stop Trying To Better Myself

Hello!

My sincere apologies for not blogging much lately. I have had a much needed holiday in Portugal with my lovely family. It was really great to have a complete change of environment and people to test this challenge out on. I wasn’t really sure how it had gone, until yesterday. I was on the sofa having a cuddle with my mum and she turned to me and said ‘You’ve been really lovely this Christmas.’ And it was then I knew I’d done what I’d set out to do.

Here’s a bit of context: Whilst I get on enormously well with my family, I do also have a bit of a temper, and I tend to get into arguments with my mum very easily. Nine times out of ten I am completely in the wrong. Nine times out of ten it’s just me taking my mood out on her. Sometimes I can be really unreasonable and it can create a really sour atmosphere for all present. When you throw stuff like packing, travelling, and airports in it can be a recipe for disaster. In general, when my mum gets stressed I get grumpy, which makes her more stressed and me more grumpy. It’s a vicious cycle.

This holiday, it was virtually argument free. There were a couple of times when I snapped unreasonably, and I was called out on it. In the past I would have just had a sulk and walked off. This time I was very quick to apologise. There were also many occasions where I could have snapped, but I took a pause to say to myself ‘is this really worth getting annoyed over?’ And I simply moved past it.

It was really great.

I also made more effort to be actively nice to people. I sent out some Christmas messages to a load of my friends, I tried to pay more compliments to my family (something I now wish I had done more of – I can tell my mum really appreciated it!) and I tried to be a good house guest to my Aunt and Uncle. I found that doing nice things can be quite addictive really, especially when you get good responses!

Now I was in no means perfectly behaved. I don’t think I’ve managed to go a single day this month without doing one of the things I was supposed to not be doing. I also look back and wish I had taken more opportunities to be actively nice. However, I think I have achieved what I set out to achieve – I am changing for the better.

Really, that’s what this entire challenge project has been about.

And here are some thoughts on…

Why I will Never Stop Trying to Better Myself

It is so easy to brush off your own behaviour with phrases like this:

‘That’s just me’  ‘You do you and I’ll do me’ ‘I am who I am’

Or phrases like ‘That’s not how I do things’ are used to get out of doing something you probably should have done.

While it’s really important to be true to yourself, I find a lot of the above phrases are not too far away from one of the phrases I most detest in the world:

‘If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.’

All my hatred for this phrase is pretty much summed up in this fantastic article titled If I Can't Accept You at Your Worst, Then Maybe You Should Stop Being So Horrible.

Because the thing is, while some things about your identity may be fixed and not in your control (sexuality for example) for the most part you get to choose who you are.

I had a conversation with a friend once that involved him using ‘I’m just not as organised as you’ as an excuse for some pretty lazy behaviour. Another way of phrasing it could be ‘I’m just a lazy person.’

Now I could be wrong here, but this is what I believe about personality: Only a part of it is genetic. Most of it is to do with environment and social conditioning. And you know what, it can be hard to change that conditioning, but I really believe it is completely doable. I didn’t come out of the womb an organised individual. Somewhere along the line, I made the choice to be organised. Or rather, I made a series of choices that lead to me becoming an organised person.

And really, I think that’s the trick to it. Small decisions. It could seem a little daunting to turn around and say to yourself ‘I am going to be a more organised person.’ But it’s quite reasonable to turn to yourself and say ‘I am going to get up half an hour earlier every day’ ‘I am going to make my lunch for the next day every evening.’ ‘I am going to do my homework as soon as I get home today.’ Put all these little choices into action, and hey presto, you have become an organised person.

I’m not trying to say it’s easy. I know it’s not. It’s hard. But what I am saying is it is your choice. It is your decision. No matter what has happened in your life to make you the way you are – the way you go forward from this point is still your choice.

Having this realisation has been really empowering to me.

Every time I was rude, aggressive, or patronising in the past, that was my choice. I’d like to think most of the time I didn’t mean to hurt people, but still, it was my choice to take that risk. And it’s my choice now to stop. And yeah, accepting that responsibility: that feels powerful.

The truth is I will never be perfect. I will make mistakes. I will no doubt be rude, aggressive and patronising again in the future. But I really hope that I will never again brush off that kind of behaviour as ‘just a part of me.’ Because I now realise that for the most part I choose what is and isn’t a part of me. I hope in the future that I will be able to own my mistakes, apologise for them, forgive myself, and then work towards making sure they don’t happen again. While I will never be perfect, I will always aim for perfection. I will always aim for better. I will always have that ‘shoot for the moon and you might land among the stars’ mentality. Because…. Well because, why on earth not?

So, in a way, I will never be truly content with who I am. I will always be striving for more. But that very part of my nature, that desire to always be moving forward in positive ways, that choice that I have made makes me proud of who I choose to be. It makes me happy. It really does.

So, I guess what I’m trying to say is this: If (like me) you have something about your personality that you don’t like, or you see traits in others that you wished you had in you – go for it. Make those choices. Make those changes. Empower yourself. It might be hard, but I promise it is worth it.