Finding the Middle Ground between Discipline and Fun

Hello lovely readers of mine!

Well I am nearing the end of this challenge of practicing violin every day for thirty days. I haven't really blogged about it, because if I'm honest I didn't have very much to say. Basically: I practiced every day that I could (unfortunately there were days when I was only in at times that were not appropriate for violin playing!) I was getting slightly better, and I was enjoying it.

In fact, I've been really, really, really enjoying it.

Even though I'm still pretty terrible.

In my last blog post I talked about getting over the fear of being terrible. My advice to myself and anyone else trying to develop a skill was to 'chuck it in the fuck it bucket and move on' - and that's exactly what I did. I played terribly to my hearts content and, sure enough, as each day went by I began to care less and less about what others thought of my playing. And I got a little bit better. And, most importantly, I started to really have fun.

And here is something I've realized. Practice should be fun. One of the great things about getting better at a skill is the very fact that, as you get better, you begin to take a lot more pleasure in doing it. And for that reason, taking the time to do some of the more tedious parts of practicing (like scales, for example) is very much worth it. It feels boring at the time, but ensures more fun in the long run.

However.

I also think it's important to make practice more fun for yourself by doing things your own way. EVEN if this means you slow down your own improvement. For example - there have been times when the sensible thing for me to do would to play the piece really slowly, really concentrating on my weak points and focusing on my technique until I got it perfect. But instead, I played the piece at my pace (which is almost always too fast) messing up many notes along the way, sounding pretty bad for most of it but then always playing the last bar with a dramatic flourish. Then I'd do it again. Four or five times. At this point, it was most likely that I would have improved a little bit on the piece just by bashing it out, but it would be far from perfect. Still, I'd just move onto the next one and do pretty much the same thing. All the while enjoying myself immensely.

Is this the most efficient way to improve on a skill? Absolutely not. But ultimately, practice needs to be enjoyable, or one simply won't want to do it. So even though I know that I could have come a lot further with my violin by now if I had really disciplined myself - I don't really mind, because I've been having a lot of fun. And ultimately I am progressing, just a little slower than I could be.

I like to imagine that Einstein had it right when it came to balancing discipline with fun. And his quote here is a reminder to me that playing music should always be joyful.

So, the conclusion that I have drawn is that if you want to improve on a skill and also enjoy doing it, then you have to find that middle ground. You need to discipline yourself so that in the long run you will be able to get better and therefore enjoy yourself more. But you also need to make every practice fun so that you will want to do it again the next day. At the moment, I think I am indulging slightly more in the fun than the discipline, but I'm happy to work on that, and try and balance it out a bit more.

Most of all, I'm just really happy that I have yet another hobby in my life. Another challenge that has made the time I spend on this earth just that little more valuable.

Because I started late, I do have a few days left on this challenge before it is officially over. However I want to keep to my schedule, and so I will be announcing my new challenge, which I'm really excited about, tomorrow. So look out for that!

In the meantime - keep striving and keep smiling.

Getting Over the Fear of Being Terrible

Hello my lovelies!

Well, I am one week into my challenge of practicing the violin every day. I've done well so far, although I accidentally forgot yesterday, but did an hour today to make up for it! My wrists and fingers ache a little, and my shoulders ache a little more. I've been focusing a lot on getting my technique up to scratch (more than I ever did when I was actually learning!) and I think, slowly but surely, I'm beginning to improve.

So for a bit of background, I played violin on and off from year three to year eleven -  then threw in the towel. I've played the odd tune since then, but essentially I haven't really played in over seven years. So while I'm not completely starting from scratch, I do have to go right back to basics. Which, as you can imagine, is a little infuriating. I've essentially spent the whole week practicing scales and arpeggios, with a few exercises and tunes thrown in, all from this delightful book:

Going to practice from a book that is so clearly aimed at children can feel a little bit embarrassing, but it really shouldn't, should it? Unfortunately, I think this kind of thing can really put adults off learning a new instrument. And that's a real shame. Another thing that I think puts adults off learning a new instrument is the fear of being terrible.

I certainly have that fear.

This week I have pretty much been able to practice in an empty house, which has been nice for me to ease back into it. Next week this probably won't be the case, and I shall have to face my fear of people being able to hear my less than brilliant violin playing.

When I learned how to juggle it didn't feel like this, because it's a silent activity! I couldn't get embarrassed by it that way. I didn't feel like I was imposing something awful upon people's eardrums. But playing an instrument and knowing that you're doing it badly feels really bad because you know that other people will be thinking how bad it is.

But unfortunately, the only way to get better is practice!

So really, if I want to get better at violin (which I really do!) I have no choice. I have to get over it. So I've decided to do this:

I honestly don't think I could put it better than that.

It seems to me, that as you grow older you become a lot more critical and aware of yourself. And that self awareness makes people scared. It makes me scared at least. Scared to do things badly because everybody else will judge you for it. But I can't let that fear stop me from trying new things, or, in this case, getting back up to scratch with old things. I have to get over it. And I think the only way to get over it is to say 'fuck it' and steam on ahead.

And yeah, it's infuriating to play an instrument badly, even if no one can hear you! It makes you want to stop. But if I learned anything from my first challenge of learning how to juggle, it's that if you practice practice practice you can only improve, even if it's slowly. So that's what I'm going to do.

So to any one who will happen to be in my house in the next few weeks to hear my scratchy tones and flat notes: I really am truly sorry, but if I can get over it I'm sure you can too.

Twenty Four days left to become less terrible - let's do this.

New Year's Resolution and a New Challenge!

Happy New Year every body!

Of course, New Year is classically a time to be making resolutions, and of course I will be making one. Reflecting back over my challenges, two in particular have made a huge impression on me: Giving Up Sugar and Meditation. Meditation has been something I've managed to keep up fairly well. Especially with the help of Headspace, a meditation website I have found really helpful. Keeping off sugar, however, has been a lot harder. So I've decided to make it my new years resolution. This time I am going to attempt not one month, but a whole year of no added sugar!

The rules are going to be slightly different this time. In June I was really really strict. This time I'm going to be slightly looser on a couple of things. For the sake of saving money, I'm allowing myself stuff like cheaper peanut butter, which has a very small amount of sugar in, rather than forking out for the sugar free stuff. For these kind products I'm going to make sure it's only about a gram of sugar per serving, so it really is minimum. I'm also going to be more lenient when eating out. In June I only ate chips as they were the only thing I could guarantee to be sugar free! This time I am going to allow myself proper meals in restaurants, but I will still avoid things like pizza and burgers, as I know they almost always have added sugar.

The thing I am going to be more strict on is puddings. Last time I made allowances for a very delicious brownie. This time, no matter how special the occasion, (and no matter who has made the brownie!) I am going to resist proper sugary products. I think this is going to be pretty easy except for birthdays and Christmas, but I shall cross that bridge when I come to it!

So that's my New Years Resolution - on day four now and feeling better for it already! Especially after gorging this Christmas!

Now for this months challenge. I've been a bit naughty and not started yet as I was really enjoying my holiday, but I'm going to start it today and just run into February a bit! I haven't done a practicing a skill challenge since the summer, and I really enjoy those, so I've decided that this is the month for practicing my Violin!

I learned how to play the violin when I was younger, but gave it up (which I really regret!) Last year I got a Violin, but I haven't been practicing as much as I should. I think it's because I'm a bit frustrated that I've forgotten so much, so it's not such a pleasure to play at the moment. But the only way I'm going to improve is to practive! It's time to force myself.

So I am going to commit to half an hour of violin practice every day. Hopefully I will see some improvement that way and rediscover my love for the instrument!

Here it goes!