Trying to be Nicer

This challenge is going to be an interesting one.

I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflecting lately (probably brought on a little by my meditation) and I’ve been coming face to face with the things I don’t like about myself.

I like to think that I’m a nice person, and when I look at the wonderful people who call me their friend, I am assured that I must have some great qualities. But I think it’s important to be aware of your faults and to work towards changing them.

It was while I was thinking about this that I came across This Article. It basically claims that there are ten things you can cut out of your life to make yourself happier. These things include:

Blaming: This is definitely something that I do, especially when it comes to university. I can often be found moaning about something someone else has done instead of just dealing with the situation.

Interrupting: Oh yes. When in a discussion/debate I can get very passionate and I often end up interrupting and talking over people. This also means I often don’t wait for people to finish what they are saying, and I jump to conclusions. I don’t really listen properly. I’d definitely like to change that.

Whining: All the time. You can add bitching, gossiping and moaning to that list as well.

Controlling: This is probably my biggest issue, and something I’d really like to work on.

Criticising: And judging. Doesn’t really do any good.

Preaching: Yep. I know I can come across really self-righteous sometimes, and I really don’t want to. I have a lot of opinions, and I’m not ashamed of that. But sometimes those opinions are not asked for, and yet I tend to impose them anyway.

Now, it was pointed out to me that although all of these things can be quite damaging, both to others and myself, most of them seem to come from a good place. I expect a lot from people. I have my own ideas about morals and how people should behave, and I expect people (especially my friends) to live up to them. When they don’t, that’s when I tend to get super critical and preachy, because I care about them and I don’t want to see them doing things that I believe are wrong. But that’s just the thing, that’s my belief, not everybody’s. Sometimes I think I need to have more of a live and let live attitude, and be able to let things go.

When it comes to the moaning, whining, bitching and gossiping side of me; that is something I’d really like to shake off. I am aware that I talk negatively about people far too often, and I don’t think it does any good. I don’t ever want to be the person creating negative tension in the room, but unfortunately I think I do that a lot.

So that’s what this month’s challenge is going to be. I am going to work really hard to stop blaming, interrupting, whining, bitching, moaning, gossiping, controlling, criticising, judging, and preaching. Essentially, it looks like I’m going to be a lot quieter!

I think this is going to be a really interesting challenge as I’m going to be figuring a lot of things out along the way. I don’t want to lose any of myself, and I still want to be able to voice my opinions. But I’m hoping that through this challenge I’ll be able to find ways of doing that without upsetting people and bringing people down. I aim to create a more positive environment for myself and the people around me. It’s going to be hard, and no doubt I’m going to make a lot of slip ups along the way (already this morning I have caught myself breaking the rules) but I think awareness is the key. I’m going to have a little notebook with me so that I can record my progress as I go along and keep myself in check.

I’m not sure exactly how this is going to go, but I think it could be really great.